You know ... it's quite the funny thing.
I realize with each and everyday that passes,
Just how much we are given that of which we really need to, to enable us to "test" ourselves and see which "tools" we pull out to use.
Desire, I am finding, is very much an equivalent to the feeling of what I title a "need" in this one particular circumstance in my life right now.
It proves to find me in the same boat with angst and willful anxiousness that I tend to have when I sit and wait for something that I really have not an ounce of control over, but want in a really bad way. It's been a "habit" of mine, which sometimes is really really good, for it fuels me with the drive to obtain those things in life, with which I truly aspire to gain and have or to be accomplished. But once again, I find myself, hook in mouth, awaiting something I can not make happen. No amount of will, desire, or drive can make someone else take action on what you could hope for them to.
A shift.... a Godly sent incident, that not by fate, not by chance... but by intent was happened at the same moments.
Yet, for some reason, I feel like a martyr ridden shell, feeling disappointed and bummed that for what I am so excited for, is not given.
With that said, I smile, against my will, and have to laugh out loud at the lessons I am constantly being taught through my having certain spirits associated with mine in this lifetime.
Much love, peace, and truth always.
(5~30~10)
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